panic station

i feel horny and depressed/ is that even possible (it just seems like a paradox to me)/ but it is so/ and i just want to come and die, both violently/ in an alley or beside a cheap photo booth/ but i can't because it would make such a mess either way

pioneer to the falls

you smell of dreams and utopias and homemade cookies
you feel like summer rain and flying

you're the final chapter(s)

and our souls blended

I want to feel weak , cold and unprotected ...with you right next to me ...
we both naked in the rain , on the grass , shivering like hell ...and then we kiss , but only the soul warms up ...
our hearts beating like it was the first time ...our trembling bodies keep us from a proper kiss and we laugh ...

I rejoice because I've never felt so at ease with anyone else ...

I sit behind you and I touch your ribs , one at a time , with my fingertips , trying to make you mine forever , somehow ...
I look at you for hours under the endless autumn rain ...seeing how your hair starts sticking to your forehead and your cheeks ...
( not to sound lame , but you look like an angel like that )

I lay on the grass , watching the sky ...the needle-like raindrops coming towards me ...
seconds later you lay on top of me , watching the same exact thing ...
I place my hands on your stomach ( how damn good that feels ) and I think you fall asleep for a while ...
you are always exhausted these days ... I wish I could make that go away by kissing every inch of your body ...
it doesn't work , but I do it anyway ...

I wanna feel closer to you. always closer to you.

the wind starts getting unbearably cold and I carry you home ...
I love the feeling of your skin ... that perfect skin on that perfect body ...
I lay you on the bed and I dry every part of your body with some towels and you giggle when I dry your feet ...
you're trembling so much that that stupid fear of losing you assaults me brutally ...
I lay on top of you trying to warm you , we both face down , while I dry your hair , gently ...
you start shivering less and less as you get warmer and you end up falling asleep ...
I drink two cups of coffee and I sit near you , watching you sleep , afraid that you'll be gone when I wake up , if I fall asleep myself ...
inevitably I succumb to my own exhaustion , hours later ...

I start hearing a distant voice , singing , and I finally wake up to see you lying right next to me , with nothing but my headphones on , smiling at me ...
I smile back ...
you take off the headphones and whisper 'hey there stranger. I missed you.'